Bittersweet Blessings of 2021- just a TMI Journal Share

I'd have to say today is more BITTER than SWEET so far in my feeling antennae. There are really no words to express my pain knowing Mickey Leo turns 1 today and he is it! How bitter when I know that I had a body and a love capable of 18 or 25 children, those miraculous impressive women you only read about.... My 12 children (11 living) should be enough, you say? You cannot understand then the love that multiplies to a heavenly love. Let me tell you that my children ALL work. Even the young whiny ones...lol! They all fill a job for an employer needing a work ethic, a respectful human being paying his/her own way. Hopefully they are a joy to behold; a LIGHT in a broken, fallen, often depressing, world. Aren't all the children? There could NEVER be TOO MANY children. There can never be too many flowers. As the country struggles to find workers and people trample on moral values and ideals of loving each other in Godly ways... my blessings far outweigh my bitter but my heart is breaking. I took a picture the other day of Mickey and I. He was nursing to sleep and my varicrosity was hugely my focus. Today he turns 1, tomorrow my appt is medical care for myself. It is time to do some things to move on in my adult life, but oh how I am grieving the beauty of pregnancy, labor, birth...first love, newborn smells, private all nighters just babe and mom.